Birth
Before you know where you are you have started a journey whose end you do not know. Do not want to know.
Bon mots
Rise and fall
You can survive the modern workplace only if you realise that tap on your shoulder is being made by a knife, not a helping hand.
Bandits at 12 o’clock
When you are guarding sheep a crow overhead is a fearful sight, an eagle a thing of beauty. When you are guarding chickens the reverse is true.
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Half time
Species that hibernate waste half of their potential. Homo sapiens achieves the same effect by misogyny.
Biggest losers
The Human Race is in a reality show whose aim is to discover its most stupid members and for which there are no prizes.
The red Porsche
You will find it is best, all things considered, to get your mid-life crisis out of the way as early as you can. Old age crises are not a pretty sight.
Relativity
Time goes slowly – waiting for Xmas; sitting in a dentist’s chair; at a family party; waiting for exam results; waiting for biopsy results, but it never goes more slowly than when you contract Shingles